Untitled Relationships

Often in life, We all find ourself in Relationships where it is heading to. Relationships which are just there without any commitment or title. Relationship which demands same strength and energy without any guarantee of anything coming back.

Let’s call it ‘Untitled Relationships‘ and let’s get to the bottom of it.

 

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While serving our time on this planet,we came across individuals who are struggling same as us, this leads to a sudden attraction as after a long time we met someone who can actually understand our struggle, heart starts beating fast and we surrender ourself to butterflies in the tummy.

So while getting along with love in the air and we start flying in dream world. By the time we realize how deep we have gone into this, you are already neck deep and started panicking about the consequences of such Relationships in the society you live in.

How it is going to effect your image in society and your work?

This panic starts eating you alive. Pressure from society to have a name for this relationship and your own internal struggle to be free and wild.

Flood of thoughts ” may be naming is not that bad” “what if this doesn’t go well” “what if he/she is not the one” “what if” “what if”.

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You are drowning in your own thoughts and shore is nowhere nearby.

They all say it is wrong to have such Relationships, but then who is deciding what is right and wrong? But is your partner thinks the same way?

Is he/she is ready to be loyal to you when there is no restriction?

That is a very very strong bond you have to have if you want to be loyal to each other while having no or less commitment in a relationship.

Nurture your love with good understanding and give a good shape to your titled relationship forever.

That’s your call now 🙂

Written By: Arjun

©Copyright 2017 Lifez Honour – Finding The Real Me

“Drive your relationship by your heart, Not by your brain” – Arjun Gaur

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LOG INTO REAL LIFE

Is that profile picture of yours on social media the real one?

Or was the last check-in status genuinely the place you did visit?

Have you ever morphed the picture of yours to look much better?

Or was the last post of yours about gala time at the family get-together a real one?

These are the questions to simply churn your mind to an extent where it’s able to discriminate between the virtual you and the real you. You must not have realized (and you are not to be solely blamed for it) but our over-dependency on social media world has transformed us into unsociable ones in real.

Communication in this virtual world is like having a tĂŞte-Ă -tĂŞte session after adulterating our honest expressions with the smiley and Emojis. And all these fabricated efforts have limited our identity to being a virtual socialite who is deficient of trust, truth and commitment. We allow others to judge us not for whom we are, but for how we have posted ourselves on that limited screen size.

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We don’t want our friends to see our loneliness, so we post a fun loving photo. We don’t want others to know our affordability scale, and so we post a smiling image with those expensive accessories we tried at a store. And all this is to have the number of likes and comments. But do you really feel the other person cares for all this you do? Or does he/she simply return the favour by clicking a LIKE button, because you liked their last post?

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People are disengaged from their real life and detached from the genuine relationship. The real-life anti-social crowd is keener to scroll through the social media events than scrolling through their real-life memories.

Tell me,

How many of you genuinely hug your parents on their birthdays and not simply wish them online?

Or

How many of you actually keep aside your mobiles when on a date with your partner or friend? 

If you do, then give yourself a pat on back, because you are one of the rarest species alive today.

Constant updates on social media about the whereabouts and the activities of online friends have brought us to a situation where our level of expectation has unnecessarily increased and our real-life self-esteem is at mercy of illogical virtual comparisons. We fail to decipher the fact that what is present on social media platform is nothing the filtered version of the other’s story. And often, this story is far from the originalities of their real life.

But let’s not blame technology or these social media accounts for all this. Because the technology was, is and will be there to make your life easier, to communicate and to connect. To exemplify, we can consider LinkedIn which has been a beneficial platform for all the professional citizens or Instagram and Facebook which are a splendid medium to exchange images and videos with friends and family.

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Actually, it’s we who are abusing and misusing the trending technology, by concocting it to an extent that our real identities have been blurred. If you are the one who holds the same identity in real life and virtual life, and use these platforms to connect in virtual without disconnecting in real then I should applaud you, because you have unfolded the true reason why these social media platforms were built at once.

So, let’s decipher the true usage and benefits of the social media and LOG INTO REAL LIFE before it’s too late. But how?

  • Learn to enjoy life without posting it every time.  
  • Don’t prove yourself on screen for what you are not in reality.
  • When needed, have real conversations in the real world, not in virtual.
  • Share with your online friends, what you really love doing for yourself.
  • You need not always be perfect.
  • Instead of counting the number of likes, count the number of beautiful memories in your life.

All said I would appreciate if you could spare a moment of yours to reset your life with real people and real conversations. Social media is needed but its usage should be justifiable and should not affect us negatively. So, let’s logout for a day and instead, do what we love the most and be with the one who matters the most IN REAL. Feel the difference. Share the difference. As Jay Baer quoted,

“Focus on how to be social, not on how to do social.”

Written By   Arjun Gaur

Founder, Author, & Strategic Life Coach

©Copyright 2017 Lifez Honour – Finding The Real Me

CHALLENGE THE CHALLENGES OF LIFE

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CHALLENGE THE CHALLENGES OF LIFE

“Don’t run away from challenges, run over them.” –  Joan Benoit Samuelson

Your life is nothing but an array of transition. Some of them being unexpected and stressful while others being acceptable and desirable. You are well aware of the saying that life is not a bed of roses but a carpet of challenges. But still, we as humans have carved our character in such a blunt manner, that the moment trouble knocks at our door, we tend to tremble from within and instead of opening the door, try to escape from any window (which is an easier option). And in this entire hustle, we tend to forget one universal fact, “No one can escape problems. One either needs to face its consequences or combat it with courage.”

Running away from challenges or making the transition in every phase of life weakens our identity as an able minded individual who has been God gifted with the power of rational thinking. Falling prey to the adverse situation was never in your plan, but how to come out of that situation can always be well planned by you. Running away might give you momentary relief but in future when history will repeat itself you will be standing on the same stage of a dilemma, where you are today.

Let’s question you,

“If you are facing issues with your current boss, is the change of job the only solution for you?”

” If your married life is undergoing distress, is divorce the ultimate solace?”

“If your kid is not performing well at school, is the change of school justifiable step?”

“If you are requiring some extra efforts to make your professional identity in your nation, is the change of country the wiser solution?”

If the answer to any one or all the above questions is YES for you, then you definitely need to feel sorry for yourself because you are leaving behind a legacy of being an escapist who runs away from challenges, rather than conquering them.

A wall of brick might be the end of the journey for some, but for others it’s the beginning of new phase when crossed over. Therefore,

“If you have adverse relation with your boss, talk to him. Communication can yield the solution for the complex of the problems. But the point is talk and communicate don’t crib and run.”

“If words have lost their identity as the mode of communication between you and your spouse, take help of gestures. Remember your spouse was once the world for you and he/she is the only person you know inside out.”

“If your kid is a low performer at school, polish him with skills to outshine others instead of making him an escapist.”

“It’s better to earn little less and serve your nation, than aiding the economy of another country. Feel obliged towards your own country. It will never kick you, even if you are jobless.”

You know that it’s wrong to make a switch, every time a trouble arises, but still, you tend to make this call.

Have you wondered why?

Actually, you and I have been programmed to do so since childhood. Consciously or sub consciously we tend to sabotage our professional and personal life because we don’t want to hurt our ego. The moment our routine life faces an unfamiliar or vulnerable situation, we get inclined to find solace in easier options (even if it involves, showing our back). But is it good?

NO!

Because frequent transitions just to escape the challenges will trap us in a vicious circle where we will master the art of hopping but will never conquer the goal.

So, here are few coping skills which will armour you to skip the role of an escapist in a better fashion:

  • Focus more on understanding the cause which led to the change and identify how the change can be managed. If a student is being bullied at college, instead of changing the college, talk to the authority who can take control of the act.
  • Accept the changes as part of normal life. Don’t avoid them. Otherwise it will make you less productive and more vulnerable to failures.
  • Identify your goals and don’t let any challenge become an excuse for you to lament upon when you pen down your biography.
  • Identify and express yourself through words (written or spoken). Answers will definitely pave their way towards you.
  • Make plans but with flexibility ensured. Minor changes in life should not become reasons big enough to let you reframe the entire plan. Strategies your plans with options.
  • Accept the adversities. Remember the phase will pass.
  • Don’t fall prey to addiction of any sort. Addiction makes you more vulnerable to making wrong choices, which you might lament in future.
  • Communicate and build you support system with people who don’t judge you. Your friends and family.

Finally, don’t let your critical inner voice sabotage your thoughts and behaviour that otherwise makes you feel and do great. Whenever an anxiety invoking situation arises, instead of avoiding the situation force yourself to face the fear. Your actions might not give you the desired result but you tend to equip yourself with valuable learning that ‘it’s not the end of the world’.

 

Written By  Arjun Gaur

Founder, Author, & Strategic Life Coach

©Copyright 2017 Lifez Honour – Finding The Real Me

EVERYDAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY

LIFE SHOULD NOT ONLY BE LIVED, IT SHOULD BE CELEBRATED!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Have you wondered?

What’s so special about your official birthday?

Is it not just like any other day of your life?

Well most of you would comment – NO!

It’s special. Because;

Today is the day of celebration of life and the people who are its integral part. Wishes are made and big dreams are dreamt. Today you believe in every positive thought. You play, take time out to love and be loved. You eat to relish. You are generous to others and yourself and you appreciate every moment of life. Because a few years back, it was today, that your wonderful life journey began. You gift yourself the parcel of content, happiness, contemplation and feel-good factor.

But can’t these all attributes be ingrained to all the remaining 364 days of the year, when you breathe in tranquillity?

Of course, it can. All it needs is a change of perception and your life will be jeweled in an extraordinary way.

So don’t limit all these beauties of mind and heart to just one single day, because the ratio of 1:365 is too petty in comparison to the life we live every day.

Few of my amigo readers might contradict with the view that everyday’s celebration might deter the level of enthusiasm related to that one specific day. But as deciphered earlier, its all in mind. If everyday we gift our life with specialities, goodness and make the most of it, wouldn’t that one special day be something extraordinarily special? This way we raise the benchmark of happiness set in our life, reduce the stress level and create more space for positivity.

But all said, does not mean partying each day like you do on our birthdays. It means to wake up with that intoxicating feeling of jubilant life and liveliness; you wake up with on your name day. Cherish your existence, like you cherished as a child. Do you still remember your childhood days when the overdose of excitement would make you hop and play every moment? If yes, then that’s exactly how you should live your today and tomorrow.

But is it that easy to live everyday in a special way?

Believe me. Yes it is! All you need to do is:

  • Say “I Love You” to yourself every morning and to those you really do. It’s contagious, but for good.
  • Shape your hobbies into dreams and dreams into reality.
  • Be upbeat, be enthusiastic and uplift the spirits of those around you.
  • Don’t react but respond to situations. Life will not always move in the direction set by you.
  • Don’t let others label you as who you are. Be the governor of your own life. There will always be someone better than you, and you will always be better than someone.
  • Have a goal in life directed by timeline. Goal for the day, for the week, for the month or for the year.
  • Life is simply too short to lament the past or fantasize the future. What is today is real. So feel it and live it.
  • For being happy, be fit and healthy. A healthy mind and heart resides in only healthy body.
  • Comprehend the difference between “urgent” and “important” and thus learn to prioritize.

You are no super human, so inculcate the change steadily. Practice to preach the above pointers in your 24 hours schedule every day and feel the difference for real.

“Honor life. Take a step back, reflect and groove on the miracle of being alive. Because everyday is your birthday.”

 

Written By Arjun Gaur

Founder, Author, & Strategic Life Coach

©Copyright 2017 Lifez Honour – Finding The Real MeBirthday1

About Arjun

Arjun Gaur has experience in traditional psychotherapy but made the move to professional life coaching when he became passionate about working in a field that truly facilitates client’s growth in their potential, gifts, career and life purpose. He is a passionate advocate for his clients and helps provide a path for them to change quickly and provides support, guidance, and valuable partnership along the way.

His philosophy is that we are deliberate creators of our lives, and he views his clients as resourceful, complete, and whole. Through his innovative, supportive, and results-oriented coaching style he facilitates his clients in making the shift from passive to active in the creation of their lives, and helps provide clarity, focus, and positive momentum. When you hire Arjun as your Coach, you are hiring a strategic partner and asserting a firm commitment to make revolutionary and dynamic changes in your world.

Too many people settle for less in life because they don’t know what they are truly capable of, and there is no one in their life to help them discover their true potential. That’s his objective as a coach: to help you find what you were born to do, unlock the full potential that’s in you and help you passionately pursue your dreams. His main motivation and life’s passion is to see the inner greatness in people around him, and help them maximize all the purpose and significance in life that is already within them.

He is also associated as a Life Coach with The District Child Welfare Association Haryana for Deaf and Dumb children. He is associated with few NGOs for mentally challenged people as well.

He love helping others see their true worth . He discovered an ability to energize, encourage and walk beside others in their own life journeys. And that led him to become a coach. He love to work with people who want more and who are ready to make major changes to discover real purpose and balance in life. Are you that kind of person?

As an Adaptive Thought Coach / Life Coach, He guide and empower people to create a life they love. He helps people create and tailor their lives by determining and focusing on what they want, in order for them to make the choices that get them where they want to be. It is what we call “Thought to Conclusion”. One of his strengths is helping people work through their fears. Many people feel they are not good enough or focus on lack. He always listen to what people are telling themselves by listening to their “verbal diet”. He is able to get them to see that their thoughts are creating their reality. He helped his clients create new careers, increase their finances, and find love.